Tribute to Eni

When you first came into our house, I was dead scared. I was like: "oh my god, what have i done flo will kill me." I thought that you were the last thing on Earth that would fit with us. God, an alien would've fit better (you know, they copy personalities and they behave like you. Then they abduct you - isn't that right, dude?). And in the first two days i found out how incredibly different you were from us, yet how marvelously completing. You are just like that stuff you don't know you need until you actually have it, and then you cannot live without it. And when you are bereft of it, your life just ends. Poof! Emptinesssss. Just like that. You know, like internet. Or chocolate. Or best friends.

I said a nasty thing to you a few days ago. That night, at three o'clock in the morning, I was sky-rocketing on one of those swings outside. Then I took a walk in that stupid, deep parking lot, thinking "How can she give me that shit? After all the things i endured agelessly without saying anything. All those slippers she took away from me... and now, look at her. God, i'm so sorry i said that."

I will never learn this from you. You say it to Flo more than you say it to me: "don't say sorry to me, don't apologize so much". This, i will never learn. I did learn a few things, though.

I was too careful with people, even with some that didn't deserve it. Your way taught me to relax. You told me that there are other beigns on this planet that have the same issues that i have. And this is not so important, at least not as much as the fact that you shared in, into those issues. I'm not saying I've fixed them. It's just that i feel so differently about them now. And it helped.

Remember that time when you hugged me? Us? No, of course not. They were too many.

You taught us goodness in all its ways. You don't really see this on every street. In fact, every street in this city shows us the dark side of life, and you are just not there, not there at all. You're on the good side. On the fun side of the island. On the FUN side... And guess what, we're not counting your stripes.

Yes, I know i'm not too good at movies, but i am good at some things, and you are very good at silently pointing them out.

I sit here, thinking what to write, because i really don't want any cheese in this; i don't know how to say that you're beautiful.
No, really. Stop your "aaaw"-ing. Wipe that smirk. Wiiipe it! Wiipe! God, you never listen, do ya, brat? It's true. You have a few masks you like to show(off :P), and you're in the process of creating a brand new account-exec one. The mighty account that wants to be a copy. You don't believe this now, but you will be a copy. You will? OK? If not...you know, sentimental blackmail, cheesy-type: "you'll do this for me, if not for anything." Or Flo-type: (do NOT mention this)"pliiiiz".

Oh yes, the masks...everybody has'em. When you take them off, only one mask remains, and that is one of beauty. Don't ask me how i know, it just feels, you know: your floating movements, the dance in your eyes, the mistery haze of well-being around you...it all happens when you're a bit tired, a bit sad and a tad bit depressive. When you profoundly think in nice ways. Don't lose that. I know it's not a pleasant thing to read. You'd lose that when there will be no more people to see it. And maybe there will be someone really special that will want to see this, and to that person and for that person you should show it. So let people see it and don't lose us. It's pretty straight n' simple, right?:P

There are a lot more to say, i think. That's why i'm saying goodbye. So that i can leave them for some other time.
Love and admiration,
Buh-bye.

PS. Am i good? Yeah, i'm good. I know i'm good. I'm good. Shut up, dude!

Tribute to Flo

There are 23 entries here that, more or less, describe who we are through some timeless moments we shared or we thought we might share. And this entry is born to celebrate a few of them, written by Flo (America, he's a guy!). He's not here to see this, i wish he would be, cause i'm all alone, but he will.
However, I want to add a few others to this (hopefully) never-ending list. I want to think about that time when we read Flo's work and were so deep into it than we forgot to breathe. That candlesoft night when he told us such a marvelous story that ended so goddamn kinky the sky cracked open and the clouds went right inside the crack. And that evening when he covered me in words about you-know-who and i was so sleepy, yet so interested.
One night, when we went to buy water, he tried to reveal to me his utter ugliness. Which he didn't succeed, of course, for the simple fact that he has nothing of that quality to reveal. Yet, he was so deep in the thoughts of his ugliness, no one could have gotten him out. I'm sorry I couldn't, i'm sorry i still cannot. But I cannot, for I am ugly too, and such ugly things cannot diminish each other, for they are untrue. Ugliness simply doesn't exist.
One day we bought you a nice journal in green velvet wrapping and we wrote nice words in it. You know we like to make presents. But compared to how you made us feel afterwards, our glee for giving was nothing. Remember you were working with your team, and you went to them instantly and read them every single word we wrote, and you couldn't believe it, and neither could we?
Oh, last night when you chose Worms only because you knew you could beat me :P And the other night, when we talked, and you said that you don't want to go, that you wanted to stay here with me... and i said "that's not true and we both know it" and you liked it. Admitting it, of course. And the night before that, when you didn't say anything to me, because you knew my silence (doll, shut up on this one, ok? - nu ca ti-ai aduce tu aminte :P).
I simply have to say it here: all those signs we make behind her back... and she never gets it...all those whispers and "yeah, right"s... All those things are because we share a common knowledge: the knowledge of the doll. Which is also some sort of passion, which somehow binds.
By the way, do you remember another one that binds (in a bad way though), a sleepful, slimy creature that unwillingly gave us many laughs?
My mails, you always liked my mails i sent you when you were beyond the sea(to some, you still are:P). Just like then, i cannot stop writing. The ones i got in reply represent the first few times when i realized you gave something back to me. Not something, Something. The first few times I truly realized. I'm sorry, maybe I was a little slow. You know what they say, the good stuff reveals itself after the end.
And you filled a three-month gap in a second, and that is indeed your miracle, the miracle named Flo.
And the little things in this post that only us two know about(yes, yes, you too, yes!)
Remember that time you told me an "event", a week after it happened! You're unbelievable sometimes. No, you're unbelievable all the time. Ya know? When you malevolently used me to make your poster(you also manipulated Alex, but this is between you and me, fella). Next day, you told us about your teacher smiling, probably praising a student for the first time in his life. And it was great.
And there was last New Year's Eve, which was very trepidating. You knew you're a sweaty bull, but that was the first time I found out. And what a bumpy ride that was! The skinny creature was so pissed. Five instead of two. And late!

Needless to say more than this. I can't even directly call you my friend, because that word just doesn't mean anything. No, no word is this semantically engulfing.
And then there will be that time today when you'll get back home. I won't be there. There will be that time when I will get home, tomorrow. And the time you read this. And another entry, months from now, resuming more great stuff ...